Christian parenting doesn’t just happen; it’s learnt! Alphabetically, here are twenty-six characteristics of biblical parenting:
Adaptability.
Change is constant. Equip children to adjust to different circumstances and conditions by relying on God’s enablement in every situation.
“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that’” James 4:14-15.
Boundaries
Limits are essential. Establish clear boundaries. Teach your children to discern what’s good and avoid what’s bad.
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33.
Contentment.
God’s provision is sufficient for every need. Cultivate contentment in your child by fostering an attitude of gratitude for what they have by the grace of God.
“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11.
Discipline.
The purpose of discipline is transformation, not punishment. Teach your children about consequences and encourage them to be more like Christ.
“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire” Proverbs 29:17.
Encouragement.
Encouragement improves a child’s attitude, confidence and motivation, but more importantly, it helps them know their true worth and what God can do in and through them.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” 1 Thessalonians 5:11.
Forgiveness.
Both parents and children say and do things they shouldn’t. Forgiveness manifests the mercy to move on from hurts and disappointments. Seek God’s help to forgive one another.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” Colossians 3:13.
Grace.
Tap into God’s grace in times of darkness or difficulty. There isn’t a family challenge, problem or issue that the cross can’t defeat, and grace can’t deflate.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Holiness.
Holiness is more critical for your child than good behaviour. Be an example of what it means to be shaped by God’s will and have His character.
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” Ephesians 4:22-24.
Intentionality.
Don’t live carelessly or waste time on trivial pursuits. Make sure you and your children understand what Jesus wants you to do.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” Colossians 3:23-24.
Justice.
Jesus is the standard of justice, so the family must relate to Him rightly for justice to prevail. Teach your children how to think and act justly.
“Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another” Zechariah 7:9.
Kindness.
Kindness should be entrenched in the home. Encourage your children to be thoughtful, caring, gentle, sympathetic and tender-hearted.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” Ephesians 4:32.
Love.
Cultivate love in two directions – vertically and horizontally. Let your children know that Jesus loves them and that you do too.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8.
Mission.
Be a family on mission. Every Christian family should follow Jesus closely, reflect His character, and invite others to follow Him.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” Matthew 5:14-16.
Needs.
Your children have seven basic needs: acceptance, security, significance, praise, love, discipline, and faith. Look to God to equip you to provide for these needs.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19.
Obedience.
Partial obedience is still disobedience. With God’s Word and the Holy Spirit to guide you, expect your children to do what you tell them.
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” Colossians 3:20.
Provision.
Not meeting your family’s spiritual and material needs is neglect. Trust the Provider and work diligently to supply what your family needs.
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” 1 Timothy 5:8.
Quality Time.
Adequately cultivating your child’s emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual development takes time. Spend quantity and quality time with your children.
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” Ephesians 5:15-16.
Respect.
Respect should be a two-way street. Set limits, provide choices, listen closely, honour and value your children, like God does with you.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” Philippians 2:3.
Structure.
Every child requires the stability of structured routines, rules and rhythms. Structure enables a child to learn better and behave appropriately. Establish age-appropriate liberties and limitations.
“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way” 1 Corinthians 14:40.
Trust.
Trust is the bedrock of parenting. If children don’t trust you, they can’t learn from you. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and do what you say.
“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” Matthew 5:37.
Unity.
Unity creates a nurturing and supportive environment where everyone can flourish socially and spiritually. Maintain family unity through open communication and agreed-upon expectations.
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1.
Values.
Christ’s character and conduct should inform the values that motivate family attitudes, ambitions, and actions. Align your family with a biblical worldview. Raise your children to love and serve the Lord and others.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself” Matthew 22:37-39.
Work.
Don’t let your child eat the fruit of idleness; it destroys their soul. Children must increasingly become doers, not just hearers of the Word. Require your children to do chores.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord …” Colossians 3:23.
eXpectations.
Expect the unexpected. The satisfaction, success and sources of pleasure in family life coexist with disappointment, discontent and disillusionment. Don’t place your trust or hope in yourself; look to Jesus. He will never forsake you.
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation” Psalm 52:5-6 (NKJV).
Yielding.
The Lord’s will, not your will, must govern your family. Be one hundred percent committed to Him. Surrender and submit your spirit to the Holy Spirit every day.
“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:15.
Zeal.
Every family should live for more than their health and happiness. Be willing, energized and motivated to accomplish God’s plans and purposes for your family.
“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord” Romans 12:11.
Applying the characteristics of biblical parenting creates an environment for children to grow to love and live for the Lord. But don’t get the cart before the horse. Biblical traits or principles don’t change children or build better families – that’s something only Jesus can do!
There are many more characteristics of biblical parenting. Please make suggestions in the comments.
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Summary
This article outlines 26 key characteristics of biblical parenting, offering practical guidance for Christian parents to nurture their children’s faith. It emphasizes the importance of traits like adaptability, discipline, contentment, and encouragement, alongside spiritual values such as holiness, obedience, and trust. By applying these principles, parents can create a supportive environment that helps children grow spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually, always with the understanding that true transformation comes through Christ.
© Scripture Union, 2024
5 Responses
Good teaching. Thank you. I am blessed!
I appreciate how the articles update me with more information.
As parents, we really need such resources to keep us on our feet at all times. More importantly, using the word of God as a tool to shape the character of our children. May God help us.
Intentional about teaching children to memorize God’s word, pray together as family and use God’s word in their daily lives
This is very insightful. Yes, let’s use the guidance of God to lead us in parenting our children. Let’s do well to put the Word also in their hearts so that the promises of God will be fulfilled in their lives – Isaiah 59:21.